Home Is Where the Heart Is

A major challenge that I think many people face when it comes to making the decision to move overseas is the idea of not having family and friends nearby.

What about times of fear, when you feel like you need the comfort and support of people who love you?

Or in times of joy when you really want to celebrate with those who love to see you happy and successful?

Who can you run to?

For people who are extremely close to their families at home, this could be a terrifying thought. On the other hand, people who don't necessarily have the strongest family or friendship bonds, if any at all, it could possibly be such an easy idea to pass by without the slightest thought or concern. And of course, there are others in between who love their family and friends back home, but are very comfortable with the idea of being open to the love and support of extended family.

I'm a true wanderer, in every sense of the word, so I am pretty comfortable with the idea of exploring different ideas of family, friendship, and home. I live by the saying, "Home is where the heart is," and I believe that it's possible to create a completely comfortable home space and a sense of normalcy for yourself while living abroad. In my experience as an expat and traveler, it hasn't really been difficult to find a network in most places. One recommendation I always have for people is to go to social media to search for expat groups in the region, specific country, and city that you are visiting or living in. Also, get specific with your search topics, i.e. 'Black Women living in...' or 'American Expat teachers in...' You'd be surprised to find that many groups have already been established and can connect you to people and provide you with advice and solutions to problems from people who have most likely been in your position. When I tell you, we use these groups to share which shops in town have imported hair products, food items (where the grits at??), fitness groups, barbers (who can hook it up like back home, because all haircuts and styles ain't equal!), book clubs, etc...we are ON IT! There are often group meetups and events announced, and it's also ok to initiate some ideas for things that you're into as well. Just like in any other group setting, you might end up connecting with some people more than others.

With that being said, there's a huge chance that you'll end up finding your tribe while roaming the world. Think about it: you've stepped into a different environment, going on adventures and taking risks. The people you meet on that journey are also in the same boat, so that has already established some type of bond. You'll find yourself thinking or saying, "OMG, finally, somebody who GETS me." I can't count how many times I've had that experience. I think that for most of us, we naturally want to stay attached to the same places and people, mostly for comfort or to hold on to this idea of 'loyalty.' Not to say that it is wrong, necessarily, it's just limiting.

Then, it's a good idea to find folks that you can relate to. It can be hard to feel like you have to always explain things to people, because cultural relevance is a real thing. When I reference Janky Promoters or quote a line from In Living Color, I'm expecting a chuckle, a reply, but not silence or a puzzled face. However, I also suggest that you try and make friends with locals. It kinda makes no sense to go all the way away from home and not come outside of the house-- you feel me? There's nothing like gaining insider knowledge in a land foreign to you. Just like we often have unspoken cultural rules that'll get you a side eye or straight up assaulted, most other people in the world do as well. We also know that there are some places you might want to stay away from once the sun goes down, so get you a local friend or a few and stay safe out there!

Going to college out of state, all the way on the opposite side of the country, primed me for this life abroad. I started to learn the necessary skills to survive and thrive in this big world by adapting to new environments and intentionally building family to support me. It's literally the same concept. Lastly, it's also a good idea to learn about the different regulations and ways to stay legally in another country. You do NOT want to end up locked up and abroad or risk being banned from traveling back to a place, so take precaution. I suggest doing a basic sweep of the web, and like I mentioned before, go through some of the groups on social media and ask questions and get some answers from people who have already been through it. Trust me, it makes life so much easier!